Annoying power

Could have never thought of having such a delusional feeling, control isn't what I can do but it is what I have allways craved to be able to do, but such as this world and it's beings, I wasn't allowed the power for such thing, wrongly thought through so many years as I now find to discover that no power exists. I cannot help but to wonder aimlessly of what have I done untill now that could hurt others with this "power" that I never had, I feel constrained, thinking that life has almost been a wonderful lie.
Haven't I the notion that my wish wasn't ever a real one? Can I not make an ilusional world from scrap metal to something beatifull in wich I could bring you to it? Can I not travel through your mind, searching for every memory that you have for your utmost desires to be able to, step by step, reach further and further into your feelings? It is as it seems, I am unable to reach a glorious joy, without you by my side, because you can never be happy with futile words that I might say, but, alas, I will never know what to tell you untill you say to me what you want to hear from me. But these words are resting within my thoughts, waiting and waiting, and they will wait as much as they can untill you want to hear them, but when?
These words, I fear that if I were to tell them to you right now that I would only hurt you more than I see you suffering as you are now, this power to speak, sometimes feels so evil... If I could, I would tell you now these wonderfull words, if you wouldn't be in such pain right now, you would hear them... and maybe smile.
Maybe I should had noticed sooner that you never wanted to hear such words, from me at least, maybe this ignorance as made me blind to the point that I became to fell in love, but such thing sounds unreasonable and empty-headed to be said. Emptyness, is what such silence leaves in the path between us, and emptyness is all that will remain.